2015

We started this year wondering who you would be, when you would join our family, what you would be like.  Now we end this year with you tucked into your own bed with a soft dolly and ridiculous 'Frozen' blanket, your two brothers sleeping across the room in their bunks. My pantry is full of soups and baby food, bottles and all their parts dry on the counter, and little girl toys are mixed with trucks and dinosaurs. Each night I fold dozens of grubby t shirts and holey boy jeans but there's a new pile of pink! and ruffled socks added to the mix. Our dog is exhausted from following three kids around all day. Each day you discover something new and each day is one more day that your brain ticks off as steady, the same, forever. We haven't left you yet little one, and each day you're beginning to realize that family really is forever.  

We went to the beach today. Your first time I'm assuming. There's so much about you that I don't know and so much that I will never know about your first three years. I don't think about that very much though but I will remember that you had a life before us and we will always honor where you came from and talk about it when you're ready.  But today was your first beach trip and it wasn't your favorite thing. But you suffered through the sand everywhere and the scary waves crashing on the shore and even smiled a few times at your crazy brothers. I think you'll learn to love the ocean someday. As you clung desperately to me during our walk down the beach, I tried to remember how much you've been through in just one month. One month! One month ago yesterday we met you in that adoption office in Guangzhou that so many families know so well. The one with the uncomfortable velvet couches and covered up ping pong table. Your tiny self was carried in by the orphanage director and when they handed you to me your face went completely flat as your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth hung open for a cry. I know that face well now. And òne month ago today, we traveled back to that office and signed the papers that promised we would never leave you or abandon you. You are now grafted into our family and as you're slowly discovering, family is forever. We had and honestly still have a long road ahead of us. But look how far you've come in one month!  One month ago, bundled in a million layers of clothing, screaming for a loss you couldn't even fathom.  And today, bare toes in the sand, screaming for your mama to save you from the seagulls overhead and the waves crashing near by. 

Time flies like seagulls at the oceanside.  Who knows where you'll be next month?  One thing I can promise, family is forever so wherever you'll be, we'll be there with you. 

Happy New Year!