Monday, April 28, 2014

Morning coffee

6:59 AM- coffee maker beeps, I stumble out of bed and towards the shower. Sleeping in isn't an option as it would be a guaranteed way to make both boys wake up and start their path of destruction with the demise of one of the few objects left in the house that I hold dear. 

7:12 AM- the tantalizing aroma of fresh brewed coffee finds me as I'm stepping out of the shower.  I'm half way through the hair/makeup routine when the toddler kicks the bathroom door open and begins his barrage of words that will make up the background music of my day.  "Good morning mama! I had a good sleep. I'm really hungry- I need a snack. I don't like breakfast because I get too full but I need a snack. I drive a yellow cement truck with two trailers- Nora sits in the back..." And on and on and on.  It's all I can do to keep him from barging down the hall with his narration and waking up his brother. 

7:24 AM- Dad fills up his travel mug with life- sustaining goodness and gives kisses goodbye. 

7:28 AM- Sweet Nector, you're almost mine! Toddler has been shushed and coerced into tiptoeing past sleeping brother's room and then bribed with a cup of milk and toy truck to stay quiet a little longer. I grab a mug, pour in some creamer, and then fill the rest with coffee. Before taking a drink though, a bowl of Cheerios is demanded and I oblige. 

7:34 AM- coffee is rapidly cooling but I forgot to provide a tiny spoon to the tiny Cherrio eater so I must abandon my cup and dig through the silverware for the yellow spoon. I finally locate said spoon and head back to my coffee but...

7:37 AM-  coffee drinking thwarted again! The baby is awake and protesting his current confinement in his crib. I greet the smiley but stinky baby and start wrestling him out of his footie jammies to remedy the stinky situation. He grins at me while flipping onto his belly and frantically scooting away from the diaper changing business. I barely catch him before he carreens onto his head from the changing table and with a combination of diaper changing skill that only a mom of little boys has acquired and brute strength, the baby is changed, reinserted into his jammies, and we are heading back to the living room to feed him, by way of the kitchen to pick up my abandoned coffee...

7:49 AM- Target aquired.  Coffee in hand, I head to the couch and feed the 'starving' baby. I take a sip of coffee - finally! - and it's barely warm... Mostly cold actually. Despite my desperate need for caffeine at this point, I don't drink cold coffee. That's another story though. 

7:59 AM- Coffee abandoned again. Baby is fed and happily headed toward stealing his brother's toys. I stick my coffee cup in the microwave and give it a zap to warm it up. The toddler has discovered the baby gumming on his favorite truck and declares war.  As the microwave beeps, I rush to rescue the baby from the toddler's choke hold. Baby is laughing hysterically by the way, but the toddler still gets a talking to.  Boys are properly separated and I retrieve my coffee and take a big gulp- Aghhhh! Too hot! I leave it on the counter to cool for a second. 

8:06 AM- coffee cools. Toddler declares that he has to go potty.  I rush him to the potty. We make it just in time. Since he's already mostly undressed, I decide to get him ready for the day. We dig through dresser drawer for the 'yellow truck shirt' but I forget that it's in the laundry. A 'blue not truck shirt' has to suffice but first I have to witness an epic toddler meltdown. Meltdown over and shirt is on. Baby has made his way to the bedroom and discovered the chalkboard easel. While I'm touting the merits of the 'blue not truck shirt' the baby is eating pink chalk. Baby leaves room and leaves a trail of pink handprints on the floor. 

8:18 AM- I follow handprints back to the kitchen where my coffee awaits. I manage another careful sip before I discover the pink chalk dusted baby heading toward his favorite toy- the cord to the floor lamp. Coffee tossed aside, I apprehend the baby before the lamp crashes to the floor. I also manage to catch the lamp with my leg so nothing breaks- score!  I am now covered in pink chalk dust too. Holding the baby away from me, we go to get cleaned up and changed. 

8:38 AM - coffee takes another spin in the microwave. Everyone is dressed but demanding more food. I start the process of cooking eggs, tossing Cheerios to the baby/bottomless stomach, and pleading with the toddler to put the goldfish crackers away and eat real food. I get a few more sips of coffee inbetween the chaos. 

8:46 AM- toddler complains that his eggs aren't 'yellow enough.'  Baby scarfs his egg down and screams for more. I scramble another 'yolk-only' egg for the baby while force feeding my toddler. 

8:59 AM- the coffee maker beeps again, signaling that it's done for the morning. It reminds me to drink my coffee, which is, big shock, cold again.  The toddler declares that he doesn't like breakfast anymore and the baby scream -pleads for more food. 

9:24 AM- More morning chaos ensues. Toddler begs for 'just two cartoons' while the baby needs another diaper change before being put down for a nap. I finally remember to feed the dog, wash dishes, throw some laundry in, unplug my unused curling iron. 

9:42 AM- I contemplate switching to iced coffee as I dump my coffee mug in the sink and herd my boys out the door for the day. 

1 comment:

  1. Equal parts "I wish I was there" and "potential birth control ad." Sounds like you have a great handle on things, though. Hopefully I can get out a visit again soon and see this chaos firsthand.