Thursday, May 13, 2010

A Cautionary Tale

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Brodo and I am the newest member of the family.  All you readers at CTF probably know my cousin Nora pretty well.  I want to tell you a sad tale of how I came to be in this awkward position:

It was a wonderful sunny morning.  My big Uncle Louie and I were making our rounds, securing the perimeter of the property like we do every morning when Louie smelled it first.  Glorious smell!  Rotting corpse with just a tint of horse poop.  We looked at each other with greedy eyes and set out on the trail.  Since I am a renowned hunter (I've caught one gopher, countless lizards, and have come very, very close to a bird) I led the charge.  The scent led us off the property- but we were so enthralled with the lovely possibility of finding the source that we hardly noticed or cared.  As we crossed to the neighbors land, Uncle Beuford issued a cautionary bark- warning us not to disobey our masters by leaving the property.  Louie barely glanced back and I knew Beuford only wanted our delicious prize for himself so we paid him no heed.  The scent grew stronger and stronger as we approached the neighbors horse pen.  Louie was nearly distracted by the fresh dung but I urged him to continue- to keep his cataract eyes on the prize!

We moved on, the scent overpowering us, driving us into a hunting, drooling frenzy!  Finally, in the tall weeds, we found our source.  Glorious Smell!  We rolled, we feasted, we were in ecstasy!  Louie got his fill and slowly made his way home but I was just beginning.  With shorter fur, I could encase myself in the Glorious Scent more thoroughly anyway.  Soon I was no longer just partaking of the scent- I WAS the Glorious Scent!

My master's voice distracted me for a moment.  Apparently they had discovered my absence.  Irritated that they would dare to interrupt me in such a moment of bliss, I carried on, rolling, feasting, allowing the scent to envelope me.  There was little left of the actual source and I could barely taste it now so I finally consented to returning home to see what all the fuss was about from the masters.

As I approached the property, I found Louie with his head hanging low.  One of my master's had a look of contempt on his face while the other merely looked ill.  I decided to place my stakes with the ill-looking one but as I drew closer and my Glorious Scent reached her nose, she wretched and pushed me toward the contemptuous one.  I sensed my end was near!

Louie and I were lashed to the porch and we awaited our punishment.  Louie was subjected to it first- the  horrible hose!

His head remained low and I knew my only chance at escape was to employ my most pitiful look.  With dropping eyes and quivering legs, I mournfully whimpered for mercy but my master ignored me and continued to spray Louie.

Louie was left to drip and my contemptuous master turned the dreaded hose to me!

I quivered and cried but to no avail... we were hosed, shampooed, hosed again, and even had mouthwash sprayed down our throats.  No longer could I smell or taste the Glorious Scent.  My only senses were cold and wet.

Louie advised me to look remorseful or the torture would never end.

I quickly hung my head in shame.

This seemed to do the trick.  The hose was finally turned off and we were left to drip on the porch.

Meanwhile, Beuford and Nora soberly watched from inside, obviously enjoying countless treats and being called 'good.'

Louie and I had learned our lesson... we would forever be obedient to the masters and stay on our property.... but... what's that I smell?  There still remains a remnant of that Glorious Scent!  Tomorrow we must return to the source when the masters are not paying attention and search for the remaining filth!  Victory will be ours again!!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Anna,
    I enjoyed Brodo's story. You are so funny. I wonder what it was? Casper is always finding something at the park to roll in, but I'm sure its not as exciting a corpse and possible horse poop.