Thursday, February 2, 2012

Baby Boogers

Someone once said sick babies make them nervous.  I couldn't agree more.  Corbin has been suffering through a cold for over a week now but thankfully hasn't had a fever and is pretty happy despite miserable symptoms.  That is, except when I bring out these characters:

Corbin was sick with a cold when he was about 3 weeks old and it was easy.  Wipe his nose, suck out the snot, let the baby sleep.  Now at six months, he knows what that blue nasal aspirator (or snot sucker thing as we refer to it) is and what it means.  At the sight of it, he throws up his arms, thrashing around, rolls his head back and cries pitifully (and sometimes forcefully).  I'm not sure who taught him to hate having his nose/face wiped (note to self- check with Mr. Incredible about 'prescribed boy curriculum.').

So at least twice a day we go through our song and dance about me trying to clean out his nose and make his life so much better and he acting like I'm sucking his brains out to eat for lunch.  He hates it.  And why are baby boogers so dang sticky?  Really- if you know, please comment.  I'm baffled.  Someone should harvest them and use them to repair leaking dams and broken pieces of the space shuttle.  It would seriously work.

So this morning we did our thing before nap time.  Corbin turned into his angry baby eel and slipped and flailed around while I struggled to aim the sucker towards his nose.  I made contact- SCHLUUUUURRP!  And then he lurched dangerously out of my arms and in my effort to SAVE HIS LIFE, I squeezed the sucker again and sent his extra schlurpy booger flying.  Ew...

I secured Corbin and had to SEARCH the room for said snot.  (So not what I thought I would EVER spend time doing...blechhhh!).  It was nowhere to be found.  Meanwhile, Mr. Corbin decided life was miserable again:

And worked himself up to a good cry.  I turned to take care of the little guy- and discovered his nasty, GIANT, snot ball attached to his eyelid!!!!!!!!!!  GROSS GROSS GROSS.

And of course I couldn't just wipe it away- it was glued with the super strength power that all baby snot has to my poor little guy's face.  Did I mention I was grossed out yet?

(No- I did not take a photo of Corbin's Space Snot- I have standards for this blog, ya know?)

Now, all you seasoned parents out there knowingly shaking your heads and thinking, 'She doesn't even know gross, "  I know.  There's much worse.  And much worse coming my way.  I'm aware.  I'm working my way towards handling it all.  But we can't deny snot should definitely be on the Gross List of Baby Stuff... the only thing that can make it grosser is this product- that I thankfully did not receive as a shower gift:

This is an example of why we should be weary of Swedes.  But please don't mention I said that to Mr. Incredible- I might never be allowed back in Ikea if you do!

1 comment:

  1. that product really sucks.
    sounds like something a swede would come up with tho