Day 24

Day 24 Failures

Mom Fail! Letting your tiny daughter ride her balance bike down a hill at full speed, knowing full well she is the baby version of Evel Knievel without the high success landing rate. I've had a lot of mom fails and failures in general…but I guess we all have. We practice Connected Parenting with our kids-for the hope it offers to kids with a trauma background and the outcomes we've experienced first hand. And while we are intentional and try really hard to be attuned to our kids needs, especially when they are experiencing big feelings, we still fail some times. They say securely attached children have parents who are attuned to their needs 33% of the time. That apparently is ‘good enough.’ And while the overachiever in me never wants to settle for being a good enough parent, this number gives me a lot of comfort. I fail. A lot. Maybe even 2/3rds of the time. The key component to surviving this failure rate is what they call rupture and repair. We, the parents, are triggered, lose control, and don't respond how we should in the moment. But we have a second chance to repair what has been broken and reconnect with our child. More actual benefit comes to the relationship from rupture and repair than from never rupturing in the first place. Connected Parenting has the science to back all this up but I also have a track record with the King of second chances. Isn't that the hope of redemption? Countless second chances we've been given at the cross. My relationship with the God of creation is filled with my failures blocking the way. But through the redemption of the cross I am restored and reconnected. What a reminder we are given as we strive to connect with our children and experience failure - theirs or our own-that amazing grace is offered- how sweet the sound!